Peacemakers

For the past seventeen years, Marybeth and I have lived unconventional lives. We got married in college, had a bunch of kids, and homeschooled. Living differently then our peers has brought different forms of criticism, and over the years I reacted to it in three different ways.

Initially I was the peacekeeper. A friend would make a comment about the number of kids we had and ask if “we knew what caused that.” I’d laugh along with him to keep the peace. Our family members would argue with us about the effectiveness of homeschooling and I would try and find common middle ground.

Somewhere along the way I got more argumentative. I became more outspoken about my beliefs, but not in a way that helped others understand why Marybeth and I did what we did. For whatever reason, I was quick to tell you why what you were doing was inferior to what I was doing.

For the last five or six years I’ve just been quietly living my life. Instead of becoming more “normal,” Marybeth and I have continued doing crazy things like paying off all our debt, homeschooling, and adding a sixth kid to the Whalen clan. If anything, our beliefs about family size, the role of father/mother/husband/wife, money, and raising kids have become even stronger. But instead of being outspoken and self promoting, we just quietly throw ourselves into culture and do our thing. I figure that if people are interested in what I think, they’ll ask me.

I’ve learned that you can’t talk someone into believing something. People’s minds are changed by what they observe and see with their own eyes. If someone likes what they see in my life, they’ll ask about my beliefs, and I will give them an honest, loving, thoughtful response that will be intended to help them apply principles I’ve learned into their own lives.

Something happened yesterday that made me mentally revisit all this. I was working in a Starbucks and happened to be sitting next to a few guys I recognized (but didn't know me) who were talking badly about something I’m very passionate about. For about 10 minutes, I sat quietly and continued working. I didn’t even get very emotional to be honest. Like I said above, I’ve learned that speaking out in that kind of situation only leads to an argument about style.

But then it got personal. One of these Christian men began speaking negatively about the character of a guy that I know. What the guy was saying was an outright lie. Enough was enough. This has never been typical of me, but I turned and personally confronted him about his comments and pointed out his sinful behavior.

Here’s something that I wish I had been told early in my Christian years. The church does a great job reminding Christians that we are to be loving, humble, and respectful of others. Jesus said that if we’re forced to walk one mile with an enemy, we should go two. If we sin against our brother, we should drop everything and go make reconciliation. But I think the church does a bad job of teaching Christians that we don’t have to stand by quietly and ignore sin. We don’t keep the peace at all costs. Adam was silent and Eve ate an apple. Peter acted sinfully and Paul confronted him to his face. Jesus stood up to an angry, self righteous mob of men who were ready to hurl stones at a woman caught in adultery.

In Matthew 5:9, Jesus doesn’t call us to be “peacekeepers.” What he says is that we are to be “peacemakers.” For him to say that someone must make peace (active) means that there has to be wars going on around us. “Peacemakers” are needed in our churches, in our homes, and in our nations. A “peacemaker” will boldly confront sin without worrying about the cost to himself. A “peacemaker” is motivated by Biblical truth and by love for and fear of God. A “peacemaker” interrupts fellow Christians when they’re gossiping about someone and damaging the cause of Christ. A “peacemaker” confronts a man who he knows is having an affair and tearing apart his family.

The Hebrew equivalent to “peace” is the word "shalom." This word is rich in meaning and was, for the Jew, the common word of greeting. Not only does shalom convey the absence of strife and evil, but also the presence of all good things. To wish shalom on another was in essence to say, "I wish for you not only the absence of all that may harm, but also the presence of everything that makes for a person's good."

There is a time for silence and there is a time to speak out. Confrontation to make peace is an element of our Christian life. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”