A Restoring Touch

Our middle son was born with a rare genetic disease call Pierre Robin Syndrome. Basically, his jaw was completely recessed at birth. He couldn't breath or eat on his own and spent two years with a trache. It was tough, but in a weird way good for our family. You might even say that the condition of his birth saved our marriage. Long story.

It's been years since we've had to do much medically for our son, but today I had to take him to see the plastic surgeon that managed his case ten years ago. I'll never forget first meeting Dr. Matthews. It was late at night after our son had been born and Marybeth and I were exhausted and feeling hopeless. None of the hospital staff knew what was wrong except to say that his life was literally hanging by a thread.

Late that evening, a soft natured, unassuming plastic surgeon came in and explained to us what he thought was wrong. He told us of a procedure that could help. It was something that no one else in the United States had done, but that he had successfully completed. For the first time during that day, Marybeth and I felt hopeful.

We learned a lot about Dr. Matthews over the next two years. When you say "plastic surgeon", you probably think of new boobs and tummy tucks. People will pay out thousands of dollars to these doctors to recapture lost youth. It seems to be an extremely popular and growing field. But Dr. Matthews was different. He decided early on to fix people's faces. Kids with cleft lips, people in car accidents, rare diseases such as a child's skull not completely forming, Dr. Matthews would come and quietly fix them. He was an artist who sculpted people. He made them whole again. If you could get him talking about the kind of stuff he did, you could see in his eyes the passion and love he had for his patients.

Our son has to start some new repair work on his jaw, so I took him to see Dr. Matthews again today. He's started his own practice because his previous employer got rid of the reconstructive division to focus exclusively on cosmetic repairs. And as I looked around the room, I understood his passion. Patients with facial deformitives waited quietly for their turn with the man who would fix them and restore their dignity. Parents with children who had cleft lips waited patiently for the doctor who would give their child a beautiful smile. I watched Dr. Matthews saying goodbye to a young boy and saw the same compassion and love for children that he always seemed to have. After an encounter with him, a child's life was changed forever.

I felt like I was around Jesus, the man who spent a large part of his ministry touching people and healing their deformities. Jesus restored sight and hearing. He cleansed leprosy. He healed a woman who had been bleeding uncontrollably for twelve years. His touch restored dignity and provided hope. He healed fathers who could go back home after years away. Home - to play again with their children and feel the tenderness of their wives .

It's a touch that I need. I have a deformed soul, lost and hopless at birth. I struggle with it's ugliness, and get down on my knees and beg Jesus to come and touch me with tender hands to heal and restore me.

Today, watching a man who's dedicated his life to helping others, I lost myself in a childlike faith. Hope rose in my chest and tightened around my heart, stealing my breath away. Thank you Father... for giving your life to restore mine.

It's Only Stuff

Our neighborhood was vandelized late Friday night and my car got hit. I got up Saturday morning to find my Blackberry and iPod stolen. I was surprised that I wasn't angry about it. I felt sorry for whoever took it. I found myself wishing I could sit down with them and talk to them about why they were so angry that they'd walk around a neighborhood late at night and destroy and steal other people's property. I wondered what had been stolen or withheld from them emotionally.

Our church is in the middle of a capital campaign and Pastor has been teaching on having the proper perspective of material possesions. He's reminding us that everything in our lives belongs to God. I go off and work hard and earn an income and (hopefully) make wise decisions with how Marybeth's and my money gets spent, but God is the one actually providing. He gives me life and strength to go off and work. With gratitude and a humble heart, I pray prayers of thankfullness and ask for His wisdom so that I can be a good steward of what He's providing me with.

So maybe this is why I didn't get upset. Maybe subconsciously I was reminding myself that an iPod and a Blackberry are just things that can be replaced. Maybe God even had a purpose for the theft happening. Maybe God allowed me to have the iPod and had me put a bunch of my Pastor's sermons on it so this person could take it and find the sermons and hear the Gospel for the first time. Maybe God used me as a conduit to reach into the heart of a young man and speak to him about love and grace and compassion. Maybe a young man's life will be changed. Maybe some of his friends will notice and wonder what the difference is and he'll be able to share the hope he found in Jesus Christ. Maybe one day out of curiosity they'll visit my church after hearing the podcasts. Maybe the thief will end up sitting by me, who is just as much of a sinner, and find ourselves worshiping together.

Maybe we both can find the love and forgiveness our hearts cry out for. We can both give glory and honor to our God who reached out from Heaven to die for us... broken, messy creatures. Maybe we can both praise God for the hope and joy we find in Christ.

That's my prayer anyway.

I'm Serious But I'm Safe

The other day I was calling out to our two year to come over to me. It wasn't working. She was just looking at me with her cute smile. Kind of like, "You silly man. We both know that you think I'm the cutest 2 year old girl in the universe. I think I'll just keep doing what I want." And she walked away.

I called out to her but she kept on walking. Long story short, someone got a light poppin' on her booty. And she got the lecture, "When Daddy says something, you have to obey. I'm serious little girl." Mean ole Daddy.

Course with a girl, any sort of discipline involves tears. So we had to do the hug thing too. And as I was holding her and patting her on her back, I told her, "It's ok little girl. You're safe with Daddy."

I realized that I stumbled on a parenting truth. I'm serious but I'm safe. I want my kids to understand that when I say something, I'm serious about my kids obeying me. I expect you to obey. And no whining or questioning. I'm serious enough that if you don't obey, there will be some sort of discipline.

But I also want them to know that I'm safe. I'll always be there to hold them and comfort them and help them.

Getting my kids to understand both of these concepts is the key to achieving the kind of obedience I want them to have. When they're walking in that balance, they obey me because they understand that I mean what I say and that disobedience means consequence. They don't obey out of fear. They know that I'm a safe place for them and love them and comfort them.

I think it's the same way God relates to me.

Quote of the Day

"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

Get Up and Fight

Here’s a word for the man who’s been knocked down.

I spent a number of years working for a company in the HVAC industry that struggled with sales. We weren’t number one in many markets or with many products. Locally, we seemed to always lose the big jobs. Over time, I began to dread going to our weekly sales meetings. Invariably, our sales manager would lean back in his chair and tell another story from his past of “the job that just got away.”

It became a running joke between my wife and I.

I would come home on Monday evenings and tell her of the other salesmen swapping stories of how we got our butts kicked during the past week. I was surrounded with people who resigned themselves to defeat before the game had even started.

It was funny to laugh about with her, but what it was doing to my life was no joke. After years of working in this kind of environment, I quit believing in myself. I lived in self doubt and struggled with a very low self esteem. You become the kind of person you surround yourself with.

It took the effort of some very close friends, but I was able to turn my life around. The hardest part was learning to believe in myself again. I had to relearn that I deserved to be the best and to work with the best.

I had to get up. I had to walk away from the lies that I had believed about myself. I had turn away from my past and step into the unknown.

I had to get up and fight against those who wanted to strip away my self-worth.

I had to get up, dust myself off, and live in the truth that I am loved by God and that He believes in me.

Those are my words for you my friend.

Get up. Fight back. You are a mighty warrior. You are significant in the eyes of God. You are highly treasured and have tremendous value. You can and will make a difference in this life.

It won’t be quick and it won’t be easy. There will be days when your past will haunt you. At times, I catch myself thinking untrue things about myself. You’ll experience the same.

But you will fight your way out of it. You’ll find that job you want. You’ll pay off that debt. Your marriage will heal. The fear will subside.

And for the first time in a long time, you will be at peace.

Get up. God is reaching down from Heaven and offering His hand. He will pull you to your feet, throw His arm around you, and walk with you into an exciting future.

Dumbledore Is Gay

I was sad when I read the headline. It's official - J.K. Rowlings has announced publically that the character 'Albus Dumbledore', the headmaster at Hogwarts school and one of the leading characters in the "Harry Potter" series, is gay.

I'll admit, when the first book came out, I was one of those Christians who spoke out against little Harry. But a few years ago, I decided to read the first book. Not sure why, maybe I was just curious. Maybe I wanted to know firsthand why I was supposed to dislike the books so much.

The opposite happened. I was captivated by the characters Rowlings created and the quality of her writing. I've read through the entire series. I was fascinated with the ending of the last book - how Rowling's wove in the need for the voluntary sacrifice of one individual to save the lives of his friends. There seemed to be a strong parallel to the Gospel.

I finished the series with a heavy heart saying goodbye to good friends.

But the headline "Dumbledore is gay" changed everything. It made me sad for a few different reasons. I compare it to a friend who might be struggling with homosexuality. There's a huge difference in my mind comparing how I'd react if he came to me and said he was leaving his wife and moving in with a friend and didn't care what I or others would have to say versus him coming to me and asking for help with his struggles. In both cases, I would still care a lot for my friend. But in the former case I would have to be a little tough (lovingly.) In the latter I would be very gracious and do everything I could to support him as he battled against his struggles. My own personal issues are no bigger or smaller then his. We all sin and we all need the grace of Jesus Christ in our lives.

I view working through issues in the world like I view how I interact with my friend. We live in a world that is growing increasing hostile to Christians every day. I know that sounds paranoid to some. But for example, there has been talk in Canada for jailing a pastor who speaks out against homosexuality from the pulpit. Who's to say that won't be defined as a hate crime in America one day? What does a local pastor do then? Does he preach the truth? Or does he hold his tongue to keep from facing trouble. I look at the stories of the apostles and I forsee a time when I might have to face similar circumstances.

It's sad to me to think that the time is here. I won't be put in jail for speaking out against a gay character in a book, but I would be ridiculed. The Harry Potter series is the best selling series of all times. If I were to get on Oprah and talk about Biblical morality and applying it to Albus Dumbledore, I would be shouted off the stage.

So can I take the opposite approach? Can I just say that it doesn't matter because the rest of the books are so well written? Or have such good themes? Can I be an advocate for someone who clearly is mocking a standard that God Himself set? (It's my opinion that Rowlings isn't struggling with whether the issue of homosexuality is right or wrong. She clearly doesn't find any problem with it morally. She is quoted that her announcement will just give Christians something else to hate her for.)

I'll be the first to admit, I don't want to let the Harry Potter series go. Even as I type this, I want to go back and reread the older books and enjoy them all over again. But I feel like God would ask, "Do you want to immerse yourself in a story that was created by someone who is mocking something I call evil? What other little concessions will you make? How many little concessions will you make before you're faced with something big? Will you be prepared for that decision when it comes?"

I know the answer in my head. It's my heart that struggles with the answer.

Tithing

I was recently helping a couple develop a budget and the subject of tithing came up.

I've grown up in the church and always have known that giving on Sunday is expected of a Christian. And when you read through scripture, you find that God tells us to give ten percent of our gross income (as a minimum) to our local church.

Unfortunately, I'm sort of the stubborn type who (sinfully) resists doing what I'm told to do. I've struggled most of my life with the whole issue of giving. I've had the typical excuses - too much debt, not trusting the church, wanting to live beyond my means, etc. I've even gotten angry at times with the whole concept. All that said, most of my life I gave my money (when I did give it) out of guilt and obligation.

A few years ago I was shopping for some new pants and much to my horror, realized that I needed to go up a waist size. At the same time, during a check up, my doctor warned me that my cholesterol level was approaching 250. After going over the dangers of such high levels (my father has struggled with heart problems) my doc recommended that start an exercise program.

I grew up playing sports but it had been 15 years since I'd had any regular excercise. Running had been a passion of mine so I thought it would be a great place to start. As I tried to get a routine together, I found myself dreading it. I knew in my head that I needed to run for my health and well being, but my heart wasn't into it.

Over time my attitude has changed. I truly love to run. Even on days when it's hard to get started, after running 4 or 5 miles I feel great and am glad I forced myself to go to the gym. Over time, the motivation to run has changed from something I was told I needed to do for my health and well being to something that I'm passionate about.

I explained to this couple that tithing (for me) has worked the same way. Over time I've begun to rejoice in giving. It keeps me spiritually healthy. Giving my tithe is a much needed reminder that all I have belongs to God. It helps me keep a proper perspective of what in life is important. It reminds me of the price Jesus paid and of all that He gave to me. It motivates me to go work harder so that I can earn more and give more. I've even found that giving motivates me to pay off my debts so that I can give a higher percentage of my income.

I know the issue of tithing creates some emotional debates. I just wanted to share my experiencen and tell of the joy I've discovered by giving away what I used to wrap my arms around and try and hold onto.

So what do you think? Do you tithe? Why or why not? Do you give 10 percent? More? Less? What caused you to change your opinion. I'm interested in hearing your stories and comments.

"Why Should I Come Down?"

I love the book of Nehemiah. I compare what I do with my life with that period of Jewish history when the wall around the city was rebuilt. My wife and I both do all we know to do to help strengthen families and marriages. There is nothing more rewarding then helping fellow Christians as they build walls of protection around their homes.

But I'm learning that attacks will come. Some are external. Nehemiah had to prepare the people building the wall for enemies that were threatening from outside there community. Those are easy to prepare for and are expected.

Nehemiah also had to face threats from within. Leaders in the community were upset at the changes he was making and did all they could to discourage him.

My wife and I are finding the same thing. Internal attacks from other Christians are very discouraging. It angers me to be honest. I wonder why other Christians feel like they have the right to personally attack she or I because they disagree with our methods or version of scripture or whatever. My wife recently got a random email from a woman who said that God told her that she was to communicate to my wife about how wrong my wife was about a certain issue.

Who does this woman think she is? Does she really think that there aren't enough women in my wife's life who my wife knows ands trusts who could counsel her? Wouldn't God use me if my wife needed to be corrected?

I like Nehemiah's response to his internal critics. In chapter 6 verse 3, he asks them, "I'm doing a great work. I can't come down. Why should the work come to a standstill just so I can come down to see you?"

I'm tired of Christians who walk around with spiritual pride and act downright ugly to those they disagree with. My wife and I aren't perfect but we're doing a great work. We have people around us who hold us accountable to what we say. We don't need your help. If you don't like what we say or do, go find another devotion to read or blog to visit and leave us alone.

And oh, by the way, the scripture above was taken out of The Message Bible.

Trying to Build on Sinking Sand

I’m raising a challenge to all of you who are involved with Christian ministry or a local church.

Before I do, any of you who sit on the sidelines waiting for an opportunity to blast a local pastor or condemn a local church can just go find another blog to read. This post isn’t about criticizing the church. The church is Christ’s bride and should always be treated with the utmost honor and respect. I bring that conviction to this discussion.

But I do want to get real for a minute.

Our American culture is drowning in debt. You can’t escape the mass marketing of credit cards, equity loans, expensive cars, and oversized homes. Foreclosure filings across the U.S. nearly doubled last month compared with September 2006. We continue the trend of increasing our use of debt to maintain our lifestyles. Christian E. Weller in his article “Economic Snapshot for September 2007” says that, “Family debt is on the rise. In the first quarter of 2007, families spent 14.3% of their disposable income to service their debt, up from 13.0% in the first quarter of 2001.”

Note that he said “service our debt.” In other words, 14.3% of a families’ budget is being used to make payments on their debt!

Christians aren’t doing any better. There is no difference in the debt and bankruptcy statistics between a Christian and a non-Christian. I’ve witnessed this firsthand as I’ve met with Christian couples who have problems with their finances. They are burdened with debt and will spend years in financial bondage as they slowly pay off credit cards, student loans, and car loans.

The emotional strain in their relationship and the personal agony they are dealing with is obvious. And with the number one cause of divorce being financial problems, the odds are stacked against them. Chances are that half of these marriages will not survive. The strain of financial pressures will cause another family to crumble.

Call me a religious weirdo, but from my perspective, Satan is waging an all out war against the American church and Christian families. He taps into our desire to consume and uses the availability of easy credit against us. Satan gets us early in the game and we spend most of our lives spiritually crippled and in bondage to debt.

Falling prey to consumer debt is the Christian’s biggest enemy. But the church stands by and does nothing.

Studies show that 90 percent of churches have no active plan to teach biblical financial principles and giving principles. And it’s no wonder that pastors don’t fully appreciate the problem. In “The State of Stewardship in the Church,” Brian Kluth states that, “Only 2 to 4 percent of U.S. seminaries and only 1 to 2 percent of Christian colleges and universities teach biblical financial principles at all, and that the theology of giving is rarely a significant part of even those curricula. Eighty-five percent of pastors are untrained in the theology of stewardship and have no books in their libraries on Christian stewardship, money or giving.”

Contrast that with the fact that there are over 2,000 verses in the Bible about money. God knew that we would need His guidance to manage our finances. As Larry Burkett used to say, “money is just the outside indicator of what's going on in our lives spiritually."

If this is true, then the American church sits on a foundation of sinking sand.

And so I raise this challenge to those of you in the position of church leadership. If you care about your people, teach them about money from God’s perspective. Being in bondage to debt is the number one problem in your congregation. But you can fight back! Make Biblical financial stewardship a foundational teaching in your church.

Your people are crying out for help. Marriages that are suffering can be changed. Families that are on the verge of being torn apart could be healed.

You can make the decision to help them.

You can make a difference.

Give Me The Remote!

I love having the tv's remote control. Holding it means absolute power. With the remote in my hands, I have control over what gets watched.

Trying to control others is my biggest weakness. I've always lived that way. "My way or the highway." The ugly truth is, being a controlling husband and father damaged my relationship with my wife and kids. You can't experience the true joy of family life if your style is to maintain fear-based control over your home. People who are under the yoke of that kind of leadership shut down emotionally and hide their feelings and withhold their love. Wives with that kind of husband build up walls of protection around their hearts to keep from getting hurt.

Christ taught me to lead my family differently. He taught me to love unconditionally. He taught me to be a servant. He taught me to love others and to give and forgive over and over and over and over. It seems to go against my very nature and I struggle with it. I wrestle with the demon inside who wants things to happen when, where, why and how I want them.

But you can't demonstrate grace if you're maintaining order and discipline by being dictating and controlling. And grace is what God wants me to give others. It's grace that God wants me to demonstrate to family. A husband and father should model God's style of love and compassion.

So I'm trying. I'm praying. I'm asking God for help with this big thing. I'm asking Him to stop the sun in the sky so that I can fight the battle this day and overpower the opposing forces fighting inside my heart.

I'm trying to let go. You have to give control of the remote away to those around you so they can find their own channel.