I have a restless soul. There are nights, after our home has grown quiet, that I find myself lying in bed staring up into the dark. Sleep seems to escape me. I lie in the quiet thinking through the many questions that I continue to have. I worry about providing and of my children’s future. I worry about my relationship with God. I wonder what He thinks about a guy who’s almost 40 and continues to struggle and comes to Him with the same things over and over.
Last night sleep wouldn’t come. I went out on our screened porch. I love our backyard late at night. The darkness is quiet and peaceful and safe. I talked with my Father and confessed my fears and inadequacies and doubts. I walked upstairs and looked in on my kids, all sleeping peacefully, covered with innocence. None of the adult fears keeping them awake. I prayed prayers of protection for them and thought about how deeply you love your child. How it just happens. You don’t have to ask for it. You can’t stop it. No matter what they say to you or what they do to you, your love continues to grow, getting stronger after day. You realize how much you would give them. How hard you would work to provide for them. How much you would give up for them. How you would lay down your life if it came to that…
I walked into the last room down the hall where my youngest two sleep, one 5 and one 2. The magnitude of being a father hit me as I thought about how fragile they are. I thought about the sacrifices that I choose to make so that they can live a full, happy life. Staring in on them answers all my questions. My purpose becomes clear and I feel hope and strength flowing into my heart.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Sunday Summaries
I've always been a bad "note taking Christian." I joked about it one time with a pastor who would always have two pages of "fill in the blanks" ready every Sunday. I got a blank stare.
To my credit, a couple of years ago, I really tried for a few months. I'd get the outline, listen intently to the sermon, and pay very close attention to the powerpoint. I'd end up with two pages of awesome notes.
But driving home, I couldn't tell you much about the sermon. And the notes would get stuffed in my Bible with the notes from the weeks before. Pretty soon I had a nice stack of papers but didn't really know what any of them said.
After a few months I went back to listening instead of scribbling. About all I can handle every week is one main point. Present it to me, teach me the importance, and let me spend the next week trying to apply it. It's just how I learn.
Pastor was talking today about how hard it can be to hear from God. There are many times when God seems silent. He discussed four filters that every Christian should use to help when making decisions. And the main thing I took away was that "the process is the point." In other words, when we're struggling with difficult problems, we look to God for immediate relief. But a lot of the time God seems silent. And we fight and struggle and get beat up by life and wonder why we feel abandoned when we need God the most. But He knows that by going through the process of difficult times, we learn and build character. The process is the point.
A good example is the recent change to my job. I'm struggling to understand and process everything that's happening. After 15 years of hard work, everything was finally falling into place. Then, out of the blue, I find out my position has been eliminated.
The process of working through this seems like a huge burdon. The process of interviewing and working my way into the regional position seems unfair and frustrating. The process of preparing our finances for a few bleak months feels a bit depressing.
But the process is the point. God is growing me and letting me work through these issues to develop a deeper understanding and deeper faith.
Whatever issues you're facing in your life, whatever difficulties you're trying to overcome, God wants you to spend time and energy working through them to learn and to grow.
The most powerful lessons we learn in life come during the most difficult times.
"The process is the point. " I really needed to hear that message of hope today. It was an awesome sermon. Go here and listen to it online.
Peace.
To my credit, a couple of years ago, I really tried for a few months. I'd get the outline, listen intently to the sermon, and pay very close attention to the powerpoint. I'd end up with two pages of awesome notes.
But driving home, I couldn't tell you much about the sermon. And the notes would get stuffed in my Bible with the notes from the weeks before. Pretty soon I had a nice stack of papers but didn't really know what any of them said.
After a few months I went back to listening instead of scribbling. About all I can handle every week is one main point. Present it to me, teach me the importance, and let me spend the next week trying to apply it. It's just how I learn.
Pastor was talking today about how hard it can be to hear from God. There are many times when God seems silent. He discussed four filters that every Christian should use to help when making decisions. And the main thing I took away was that "the process is the point." In other words, when we're struggling with difficult problems, we look to God for immediate relief. But a lot of the time God seems silent. And we fight and struggle and get beat up by life and wonder why we feel abandoned when we need God the most. But He knows that by going through the process of difficult times, we learn and build character. The process is the point.
A good example is the recent change to my job. I'm struggling to understand and process everything that's happening. After 15 years of hard work, everything was finally falling into place. Then, out of the blue, I find out my position has been eliminated.
The process of working through this seems like a huge burdon. The process of interviewing and working my way into the regional position seems unfair and frustrating. The process of preparing our finances for a few bleak months feels a bit depressing.
But the process is the point. God is growing me and letting me work through these issues to develop a deeper understanding and deeper faith.
Whatever issues you're facing in your life, whatever difficulties you're trying to overcome, God wants you to spend time and energy working through them to learn and to grow.
The most powerful lessons we learn in life come during the most difficult times.
"The process is the point. " I really needed to hear that message of hope today. It was an awesome sermon. Go here and listen to it online.
Peace.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
More on "First Time Obedience"
To be a parent means to be a leader. It’s not an option. God gives parents little creatures that we mold and shape and transform into young adults. It’s our role, our responsibility. A very honorable, noble task. Yet, nothing else in my life has been this difficult. Some days I feel like I’m making a difference and other days I feel like I’m failing.
Marybeth and I have tried to learn as much as we can about raising kids. There is a tremendous amount of excellent material available in the homeschool community. There are great Biblically based books that you don’t find in your local Barnes and Noble. We’ve heard God-gifted speakers like Mark Hamby talk about raising kids and have left their seminars in tears because we tasted wisdom that we so desperately needed.
One parenting model that you hear a lot about is “First Time Obedience.” I’ve discussed this in an earlier post. I won’t spend more time talking about it other then to say I don’t want my kids obeying me just because I’m in authority over them. Obviously, I am the authority in their life and a certain level of fear in a child is a healthy thing. (Isn’t it healthy as adults to fear and love God?)
But “First Time Obedience” parenting would be like my inside sales leader doing what I ask him do to only because I’m his boss and have authority over him. Our relationship would ultimately break down if that was my managing style. I wouldn’t be leading him, I’d be controlling him. If my leadership style with him was “do this or else because I’m your boss,” he would eventually rebel and quit, or would become a non-thinking, uncreative worker waiting for my next instruction. He would obey with his head – not his heart. It's not what I want. I want a thinking, creative employee who obeys me because he respects me and recognizes that I'm passionate about helping him.
John Maxwell, in his book “360 Leadership,” outlines fives levels of leadership. I equate “First Time Obedience” to what he calls “Position Leaders”, the worst type.
All that said, the question remains. How do you manage getting your children to obey “the first time?” Isn’t that what every parent wants? More importantly, how do you get children who are young (1 ½ to 5 years) and immature to obey?
Here are my thoughts. It’s going to sound way to simplistic as I type this out, but it’s the best I can do to explain the way Marybeth and I have raised our children. Again, I’m talking about younger kids. (Lord help us if we try and discuss teenagers in a short blog post!)
Here goes. All I’ve ever known to do as a parent is to help my children feel loved and secure. They need to be held and talked to and encouraged and played with. You need to laugh with them. They need your time. They need you face-to-face. Eye-to-eye. On your knees at their level. I communicate in every way I can think of (non-verbally - doing things with them) that I love them with all my heart. The love you demonstrate to them is like a blanket that every child wants to wrap themselves up in. They’re crying out “cover me!”
That love that you demonstrate to them allows you to set boundaries, an important element for a child to feel secure in their relationship with you. Your child wants to know exactly where their boundaries are. Where is the line drawn? What’s allowed? What’s not allowed? They better they understand these boundaries, the more secure they feel.
This is key. Teach them to respect and adhere to the boundaries you set. Boundaries make them feel safe. Then your focus is to get them to respect the boundaries you set and obey you as you set them.
This respect of and the obedience to the boundaries you've established is then strengthened as you demonstrate consistency. You have to be consistent with how you respond to them “crossing that line.” Are you clear with what’s right and wrong? Do they get away with something today that you got upset with them about yesterday? Do you immediately discipline them when they “cross the line” or do you make the mistake of giving them “warnings?”
Is there a consistent and immediate consequence?
(Important note when I say “immediate.” Your child should never see you discipline out of emotion. They need to see that you’re in control of the situation. Stay in control, think it through, and they can accept your discipline. Otherwise, if they see you making poor decisions in an emotional state they lose respect for you and don’t accept the correction. Some disclosure, this is my biggest shortcoming.)
Lastly, your child has to know that your discipline is coming from a place of love. They will accept your discipline if you’ve already instilled in them a foundation of sacrificial “I would give my life for yours” kind of love. I don’t know how to explain this any better then to have you think of the image of Jesus on the cross. How wide would you stretch your arms for your child? Somehow, someway they have to “feel” in their tiny little hearts that you love them that much. (Much easier said then done….)
It’s easy to have a bad day or a bad few weeks and get frustrated. It happens to me a lot to be honest. And I’ve done the parent thing six times now. (You’d think by now I have a clue… I really don’t. You might be agreeing after reading this!) What I have to force myself to do in those bad moments is to step away and focus on the bigger picture. Success in parenting happens over a lifetime. Your job is to help your child learn little by little by little by little…
Hold fast. Remember the bigger picture. Don't get discouraged by how your children are behaving in one specific moment. Look into the future and imagine the person you want them to become. And then pour your heart into them. Nuture and develop them every day. Help them make little changes. In the blink of an eye years will have passed, and they will have become mighty men and women of God.
Marybeth and I have tried to learn as much as we can about raising kids. There is a tremendous amount of excellent material available in the homeschool community. There are great Biblically based books that you don’t find in your local Barnes and Noble. We’ve heard God-gifted speakers like Mark Hamby talk about raising kids and have left their seminars in tears because we tasted wisdom that we so desperately needed.
One parenting model that you hear a lot about is “First Time Obedience.” I’ve discussed this in an earlier post. I won’t spend more time talking about it other then to say I don’t want my kids obeying me just because I’m in authority over them. Obviously, I am the authority in their life and a certain level of fear in a child is a healthy thing. (Isn’t it healthy as adults to fear and love God?)
But “First Time Obedience” parenting would be like my inside sales leader doing what I ask him do to only because I’m his boss and have authority over him. Our relationship would ultimately break down if that was my managing style. I wouldn’t be leading him, I’d be controlling him. If my leadership style with him was “do this or else because I’m your boss,” he would eventually rebel and quit, or would become a non-thinking, uncreative worker waiting for my next instruction. He would obey with his head – not his heart. It's not what I want. I want a thinking, creative employee who obeys me because he respects me and recognizes that I'm passionate about helping him.
John Maxwell, in his book “360 Leadership,” outlines fives levels of leadership. I equate “First Time Obedience” to what he calls “Position Leaders”, the worst type.
All that said, the question remains. How do you manage getting your children to obey “the first time?” Isn’t that what every parent wants? More importantly, how do you get children who are young (1 ½ to 5 years) and immature to obey?
Here are my thoughts. It’s going to sound way to simplistic as I type this out, but it’s the best I can do to explain the way Marybeth and I have raised our children. Again, I’m talking about younger kids. (Lord help us if we try and discuss teenagers in a short blog post!)
Here goes. All I’ve ever known to do as a parent is to help my children feel loved and secure. They need to be held and talked to and encouraged and played with. You need to laugh with them. They need your time. They need you face-to-face. Eye-to-eye. On your knees at their level. I communicate in every way I can think of (non-verbally - doing things with them) that I love them with all my heart. The love you demonstrate to them is like a blanket that every child wants to wrap themselves up in. They’re crying out “cover me!”
That love that you demonstrate to them allows you to set boundaries, an important element for a child to feel secure in their relationship with you. Your child wants to know exactly where their boundaries are. Where is the line drawn? What’s allowed? What’s not allowed? They better they understand these boundaries, the more secure they feel.
This is key. Teach them to respect and adhere to the boundaries you set. Boundaries make them feel safe. Then your focus is to get them to respect the boundaries you set and obey you as you set them.
This respect of and the obedience to the boundaries you've established is then strengthened as you demonstrate consistency. You have to be consistent with how you respond to them “crossing that line.” Are you clear with what’s right and wrong? Do they get away with something today that you got upset with them about yesterday? Do you immediately discipline them when they “cross the line” or do you make the mistake of giving them “warnings?”
Is there a consistent and immediate consequence?
(Important note when I say “immediate.” Your child should never see you discipline out of emotion. They need to see that you’re in control of the situation. Stay in control, think it through, and they can accept your discipline. Otherwise, if they see you making poor decisions in an emotional state they lose respect for you and don’t accept the correction. Some disclosure, this is my biggest shortcoming.)
Lastly, your child has to know that your discipline is coming from a place of love. They will accept your discipline if you’ve already instilled in them a foundation of sacrificial “I would give my life for yours” kind of love. I don’t know how to explain this any better then to have you think of the image of Jesus on the cross. How wide would you stretch your arms for your child? Somehow, someway they have to “feel” in their tiny little hearts that you love them that much. (Much easier said then done….)
It’s easy to have a bad day or a bad few weeks and get frustrated. It happens to me a lot to be honest. And I’ve done the parent thing six times now. (You’d think by now I have a clue… I really don’t. You might be agreeing after reading this!) What I have to force myself to do in those bad moments is to step away and focus on the bigger picture. Success in parenting happens over a lifetime. Your job is to help your child learn little by little by little by little…
Hold fast. Remember the bigger picture. Don't get discouraged by how your children are behaving in one specific moment. Look into the future and imagine the person you want them to become. And then pour your heart into them. Nuture and develop them every day. Help them make little changes. In the blink of an eye years will have passed, and they will have become mighty men and women of God.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Good To Great Parenting
I know. “Good to Great anything” has become such an overused phrase. You’d think after not posting for a week I could come up with something more original. But it does capture what I’ve been thinking about over the last few days.
My wife recently posted about some issues we're having with our kids. You can go here to read it. We’ve been reminded that being a parent requires sacrifice and consistency. She and I have been struggling with both.
By sacrifice I mean the amount of time that I must invest into my children. I enjoy spending time with my kids and they deserve it. They need to feel my love face to face. They need me around to help mold them and raise them up. But I miss things. I miss being able to get away with Marybeth more often. Or being more involved with my church. Or spending time with friends. Or working out more or running more. Or just getting away from life to refresh and recharge.
I’ll be honest. At times it’s very hard. I find myself missing being “Curt” and struggle with feeling like I'm isolated.
I’ve also gotten inconsistent with how I manage discipline issues. I’ve used the excuse of being “to tired” to deal with certain behavioral issues that should have been addressed. Instead of doing what takes more energy and is better for my children in the long term, I’ll give in and make parental decisions that are easier for me in the short term.
Some things happened this weekend that put it all in perspective. The biggest was that our Sunday night “date night” got messed up due to some kid stuff.
It was the final straw. You don’t mess with the only time during the week that I get to be alone with Marybeth.
I made some immediate changes. I unplugged the satellite TV. I took the keyboard and mouse off the family computer. (Myspace and Facebook are the biggest wastes of a teenager’s time. You can argue with me if you want to, but I’ve watched my two oldest sit for HOURS and mess around with their web pages. They’re 12 and 14 for pete’s sake. It’s nuts to let them get wrapped up in something like that. It's a waste of time and is teaching them a very poor lesson.) I packed up the Playstation II. I told all the kids that we will focus on creativity instead of entertainment. And I told them to wake up every morning expecting to put in a fair amount of work around the house. I plan on revisiting the “chore chart” to make sure they’re busy.
But… (there’s always a but) I was reminded Sunday that the biggest changes are ones I need to make within myself. I’m the leader of our home and am ultimately responsible. I mentioned the book “Good to Great” because when I’m struggling with these kind of issues, I like to go back and grab an old book I’ve read and skim through it and get re-focused. In his book, Jim Collins talks about the characteristics of great leaders. One is the importance of selflessness. It’s hard, but being selfless is the biggest sacrifice a parent must make. You have to be prepared to give up your life for your chid's.
The second thing that grabbed my attention is the importance of a “not to do list.” Jim Collins found that all great leaders focused not only on the "to do's" that make an excellent company, but also the "not to do's" that eat up all our time and hinder real growth and real development. These are things that use up all our resources and time yet have little to no impact on long term success.
Sunday was a reminder that if I want a marriage, children, and a job of excellence, then these three things, and these three things only, require all of my heart. That’s it. They are my to do list. All other things, regardless of how valuable they could be, aren’t worth the price I’d have to pay.
I know me and I’ll struggle with that. I’ll hear of a need the church has and I’ll want to help and get it done. I enjoy being part of successful things. Especially things that can make such a huge difference in someone's life. And I like adult stuff! But I hope the lesson I was reminded of Sunday is one that sticks with me for a while.
I need to keep asking myself, "How am I spending my time... and am I remaining consistent."
Maybe there’s a mom and dad out there who are dealing with the same kind of stuff. I hope that by honestly and publicly confronting our issues at home, we can encourage you.
My wife recently posted about some issues we're having with our kids. You can go here to read it. We’ve been reminded that being a parent requires sacrifice and consistency. She and I have been struggling with both.
By sacrifice I mean the amount of time that I must invest into my children. I enjoy spending time with my kids and they deserve it. They need to feel my love face to face. They need me around to help mold them and raise them up. But I miss things. I miss being able to get away with Marybeth more often. Or being more involved with my church. Or spending time with friends. Or working out more or running more. Or just getting away from life to refresh and recharge.
I’ll be honest. At times it’s very hard. I find myself missing being “Curt” and struggle with feeling like I'm isolated.
I’ve also gotten inconsistent with how I manage discipline issues. I’ve used the excuse of being “to tired” to deal with certain behavioral issues that should have been addressed. Instead of doing what takes more energy and is better for my children in the long term, I’ll give in and make parental decisions that are easier for me in the short term.
Some things happened this weekend that put it all in perspective. The biggest was that our Sunday night “date night” got messed up due to some kid stuff.
It was the final straw. You don’t mess with the only time during the week that I get to be alone with Marybeth.
I made some immediate changes. I unplugged the satellite TV. I took the keyboard and mouse off the family computer. (Myspace and Facebook are the biggest wastes of a teenager’s time. You can argue with me if you want to, but I’ve watched my two oldest sit for HOURS and mess around with their web pages. They’re 12 and 14 for pete’s sake. It’s nuts to let them get wrapped up in something like that. It's a waste of time and is teaching them a very poor lesson.) I packed up the Playstation II. I told all the kids that we will focus on creativity instead of entertainment. And I told them to wake up every morning expecting to put in a fair amount of work around the house. I plan on revisiting the “chore chart” to make sure they’re busy.
But… (there’s always a but) I was reminded Sunday that the biggest changes are ones I need to make within myself. I’m the leader of our home and am ultimately responsible. I mentioned the book “Good to Great” because when I’m struggling with these kind of issues, I like to go back and grab an old book I’ve read and skim through it and get re-focused. In his book, Jim Collins talks about the characteristics of great leaders. One is the importance of selflessness. It’s hard, but being selfless is the biggest sacrifice a parent must make. You have to be prepared to give up your life for your chid's.
The second thing that grabbed my attention is the importance of a “not to do list.” Jim Collins found that all great leaders focused not only on the "to do's" that make an excellent company, but also the "not to do's" that eat up all our time and hinder real growth and real development. These are things that use up all our resources and time yet have little to no impact on long term success.
Sunday was a reminder that if I want a marriage, children, and a job of excellence, then these three things, and these three things only, require all of my heart. That’s it. They are my to do list. All other things, regardless of how valuable they could be, aren’t worth the price I’d have to pay.
I know me and I’ll struggle with that. I’ll hear of a need the church has and I’ll want to help and get it done. I enjoy being part of successful things. Especially things that can make such a huge difference in someone's life. And I like adult stuff! But I hope the lesson I was reminded of Sunday is one that sticks with me for a while.
I need to keep asking myself, "How am I spending my time... and am I remaining consistent."
Maybe there’s a mom and dad out there who are dealing with the same kind of stuff. I hope that by honestly and publicly confronting our issues at home, we can encourage you.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
A Day In The Life
Last night was a rough night. Monday had been a weird day and I couldn't get to sleep.
My family has been spread out in four different states since Friday, and after 3 1/2 days, I was really missing everybody. My oldest is doing some Navy trainging stuff in Columbia, SC, my 10 and 12 year old are in Washington, DC with my dad, and Marybeth has been in Atlanta.
Our house has been way too quiet and seemed way too empty.
I also found out late yesterday afternoon that the company I work for is about to go through a major reorganization. The presentatoin of the change was today and it's going to be a great thing and strengthen our market position, but my job is going to be eliminated as of Jan 1st. The good news is that there will be a new position created in our region that does for six offices what I've been doing locally. The bad news is that myself and a few other guys will want that position. I feel good about my odds - our office is having a good year with the products I manage - but last night after the kids were in bed, I sat awhile on our back porch swing in the dark sipping on a beer, listening to crickets, and thinking about how suddenly life can change.
Then right before I went to bed, I was checking some stuff out on the computer (some news, some blogs, etc) and ran across something that while neat to read, took me back in time a few years to a very rough period in my life. Maybe I'll have the courage to share the story one day, but the important lesson is that God loves you and will go to any length to bring you back to Him. He can heal you and fix what you think is impossible to mend.
By the way, just to get something off my chest... for any of those out there who catch yourself saying, "Did you hear about so and so?".... i.e., gossip... some advice. Shut up. And shut those up who you hear using that or a similar phrase. Stop talking about them and go find them and tell them that you care about them. Offer your help. Offer your compassion. They'd probably really apprecaite it.
Anyway... I laid in bed trying to sleep, a bit scared because of my job stuff, lonely for my wife and family, and dealing with shame and the consequences of sin. I wish I could tell you that God put happy thoughts in my head and I got up and played a few praise songs on my guitar and went to sleep with a smile. But it was more like I prayed a gut wrenching, mournful, continual prayer to God until I drifted off into a restless slumber.
And similar thoughts have stayed with me today. I've been thinking about how difficult and confusing life can be and how easy it is for me to think as a Christian, I have all the answers. Or I reduce my beliefs to a simple "accept Jesus in your heart and then go share your faith with others until you die and then live with God forever in eternity." There's some truth to that - on one level, Christianity is that simple.
But the more of life that I experience, the deeper I realize my faith needs to be. Our God is mysterious and complex. He allows my questions and understands my heart's desire to know more and grow more in order to withstand the heartache and suffering and uncertainty and persecution that this life can bring.
My family has been spread out in four different states since Friday, and after 3 1/2 days, I was really missing everybody. My oldest is doing some Navy trainging stuff in Columbia, SC, my 10 and 12 year old are in Washington, DC with my dad, and Marybeth has been in Atlanta.
Our house has been way too quiet and seemed way too empty.
I also found out late yesterday afternoon that the company I work for is about to go through a major reorganization. The presentatoin of the change was today and it's going to be a great thing and strengthen our market position, but my job is going to be eliminated as of Jan 1st. The good news is that there will be a new position created in our region that does for six offices what I've been doing locally. The bad news is that myself and a few other guys will want that position. I feel good about my odds - our office is having a good year with the products I manage - but last night after the kids were in bed, I sat awhile on our back porch swing in the dark sipping on a beer, listening to crickets, and thinking about how suddenly life can change.
Then right before I went to bed, I was checking some stuff out on the computer (some news, some blogs, etc) and ran across something that while neat to read, took me back in time a few years to a very rough period in my life. Maybe I'll have the courage to share the story one day, but the important lesson is that God loves you and will go to any length to bring you back to Him. He can heal you and fix what you think is impossible to mend.
By the way, just to get something off my chest... for any of those out there who catch yourself saying, "Did you hear about so and so?".... i.e., gossip... some advice. Shut up. And shut those up who you hear using that or a similar phrase. Stop talking about them and go find them and tell them that you care about them. Offer your help. Offer your compassion. They'd probably really apprecaite it.
Anyway... I laid in bed trying to sleep, a bit scared because of my job stuff, lonely for my wife and family, and dealing with shame and the consequences of sin. I wish I could tell you that God put happy thoughts in my head and I got up and played a few praise songs on my guitar and went to sleep with a smile. But it was more like I prayed a gut wrenching, mournful, continual prayer to God until I drifted off into a restless slumber.
And similar thoughts have stayed with me today. I've been thinking about how difficult and confusing life can be and how easy it is for me to think as a Christian, I have all the answers. Or I reduce my beliefs to a simple "accept Jesus in your heart and then go share your faith with others until you die and then live with God forever in eternity." There's some truth to that - on one level, Christianity is that simple.
But the more of life that I experience, the deeper I realize my faith needs to be. Our God is mysterious and complex. He allows my questions and understands my heart's desire to know more and grow more in order to withstand the heartache and suffering and uncertainty and persecution that this life can bring.
Monday, July 9, 2007
We're All Leaders
The following are concepts taken from an article written by John Ford, president of LeadingWell (http://www.leadingwell.com/).
Leadership is a privilege, not a right.
Trust is still a great concept.
Companies must have clear, effective ways of listening to employees, even when the leaders don’t want to listen.
Personal maturity is one of the best predictors of corporate success.
Passivity is not usually a virtue.
A good life motto is: I am going to succeed. I want my colleagues to succeed with me.
Leadership is a privilege, not a right.
Trust is still a great concept.
Companies must have clear, effective ways of listening to employees, even when the leaders don’t want to listen.
Personal maturity is one of the best predictors of corporate success.
Passivity is not usually a virtue.
A good life motto is: I am going to succeed. I want my colleagues to succeed with me.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
A Call To Arms
There is both good and bad in this world – a horrible evil that has chosen to fight against Love. The war began long before man started measuring time, and battles both seen and unseen continue to rage around us. The evil has chosen man, God’s finest creation, as its prey, and seeks to destroy all that God called “good.”
We are caught up in that battle, victims of circumstances created before our birth. Our enemy wants to kill us, our wives, our sons, and our daughters. Our enemy's desire is to separate us from Love for all eternity.
So we must choose. God is calling men to arms. Passivity is not an option. We must stand and fight, or resign ourselves to defeat and lose all that we should have protected.
We choose… and slowly make our way to the front line. We smell the stench of death around us. The cries of our wounded brothers reach our ears, and the fear of death lies heavy on our hearts. Darkness surrounds us and all seems lost.
But suddenly, light breaks forth like the dawn and our fearless Captain appears. He’s the one who conquered death and came back for me, for you… for us. With a mighty roar like that of a great lion, He rushes forward and I have no choice but to follow and to fight.
Love pushes me forward. Love draws me home.
We are caught up in that battle, victims of circumstances created before our birth. Our enemy wants to kill us, our wives, our sons, and our daughters. Our enemy's desire is to separate us from Love for all eternity.
So we must choose. God is calling men to arms. Passivity is not an option. We must stand and fight, or resign ourselves to defeat and lose all that we should have protected.
We choose… and slowly make our way to the front line. We smell the stench of death around us. The cries of our wounded brothers reach our ears, and the fear of death lies heavy on our hearts. Darkness surrounds us and all seems lost.
But suddenly, light breaks forth like the dawn and our fearless Captain appears. He’s the one who conquered death and came back for me, for you… for us. With a mighty roar like that of a great lion, He rushes forward and I have no choice but to follow and to fight.
Love pushes me forward. Love draws me home.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Quoteable
I wrote these two things down on a sheet of paper and can’t remember where I heard them. Thought they were worth sharing.
“Perfection is not attainable but if we chase perfection we may catch excellence.”
“Religion is man’s attempt to make peace with God on man’s terms. Redemption is God’s offer of peace through Jesus Christ.”
“Perfection is not attainable but if we chase perfection we may catch excellence.”
“Religion is man’s attempt to make peace with God on man’s terms. Redemption is God’s offer of peace through Jesus Christ.”
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Fathers and Sons
It was an ironic trip to be making the day before July 4th.
Yesterday I went with a customer to a pharmaceutical plant in western NC to talk with them about adding some equipment. This plant makes the IV bags and fills them with the fluid used in hospitals. Our armed forces are their biggest customer. (This plant is one of Al Quaida’s top five US targets on lists that have been found by the F.B.I.)
As I walked by crates packed and ready for shipment, I thought about how sometime soon, one bag stored inside will be saving the life of a young soldier. And during my two hour drive home, I thought about all the fathers who have sons and daughters in the military and how their first waking thought must be of their child’s safety. I thought of all of the prayers of protection. I thought about my own son who is getting ready to spend ten days in a Navy ROTC summer training program and of the thousand of boys just like him who are preparing to dedicate their lives to maintain the freedoms of our country. I thought of my 85 year old grandfather and the memories he’s shared with me about being a marine during a time of world war and about watching his buddies cut down by German machine gun fire. I wondered what it must feel like to choose to value freedom more then you value your own life, and to choose to fight.
I wondered what it was like for the patriot father who hugged his wife and young children goodbye in the doorway of their home and began marching off with the other local farmers to fight for the rumor of independence. At the time, the outcome was uncertain, their lives at risk. What must it have felt like to look back over your shoulder and see your two year old daughter calling out “daddy” and your wife crying for you. What was it like to walk away into battle knowing that you might never see them or feel the warmth of their hugs again?
Today is a great day of celebration. My family will be swimming up at the pool and having a few friends over to grill hotdogs and hamburgers. Then back up to the pool tonight after dark to watch the $1,000 worth of fireworks the homeowners association shoots off over the lake. Today will be a day of memories and happiness.
I just wanted to take a moment while the house is quiet to honor those who have sacrificed for my freedom.
Yesterday I went with a customer to a pharmaceutical plant in western NC to talk with them about adding some equipment. This plant makes the IV bags and fills them with the fluid used in hospitals. Our armed forces are their biggest customer. (This plant is one of Al Quaida’s top five US targets on lists that have been found by the F.B.I.)
As I walked by crates packed and ready for shipment, I thought about how sometime soon, one bag stored inside will be saving the life of a young soldier. And during my two hour drive home, I thought about all the fathers who have sons and daughters in the military and how their first waking thought must be of their child’s safety. I thought of all of the prayers of protection. I thought about my own son who is getting ready to spend ten days in a Navy ROTC summer training program and of the thousand of boys just like him who are preparing to dedicate their lives to maintain the freedoms of our country. I thought of my 85 year old grandfather and the memories he’s shared with me about being a marine during a time of world war and about watching his buddies cut down by German machine gun fire. I wondered what it must feel like to choose to value freedom more then you value your own life, and to choose to fight.
I wondered what it was like for the patriot father who hugged his wife and young children goodbye in the doorway of their home and began marching off with the other local farmers to fight for the rumor of independence. At the time, the outcome was uncertain, their lives at risk. What must it have felt like to look back over your shoulder and see your two year old daughter calling out “daddy” and your wife crying for you. What was it like to walk away into battle knowing that you might never see them or feel the warmth of their hugs again?
Today is a great day of celebration. My family will be swimming up at the pool and having a few friends over to grill hotdogs and hamburgers. Then back up to the pool tonight after dark to watch the $1,000 worth of fireworks the homeowners association shoots off over the lake. Today will be a day of memories and happiness.
I just wanted to take a moment while the house is quiet to honor those who have sacrificed for my freedom.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Little By Little
Our kids had their last regular season swim meet this past week, and about half way through, I noticed something wrong with my ten year old son. He had just finished his third race of the night and got out of the water with a really mad look on his face.
I congratulated him for swimming strong, handed him his towel, and made sure I stayed sort of close to him. He’s like me in a lot of ways. He carries his emotions deep inside and I knew that I’d have to give him a little time and space before I could dig into what was wrong.
After a few minutes I asked him how he thought he had been doing in his races.
“Not good!” he said in an angry voice. “I never win. I’m not any good at swimming.” He turned his head away from me and sat there fuming.
Something you have to know about him. He’s got a toughness inside that many miss. He fought to stay alive at an early age and has kept that instinct as he’s gotten older. But at that moment I could tell he was having a bit of a pity party for himself.
I sat quietly for a few minutes and then slowly began to remind him of how hard he’d been practicing for the last few months. And also commented on some specific things he’d learned to do better. Then I asked him how many green ribbons he’d gotten over the past five meets.
You see, green ribbons are important.
After every swim meet, our team goes back to the clubhouse. The head coach announces the winner and passes out the 1st – 4th place ribbons. The last thing he does is pass out the “Best Time” green ribbons. Every time a swimmer breaks their personal best time in an event, they get a new green ribbon. The more green ribbons you’re getting, the faster you’re swimming. Chances are, before you get 1st, 2nd or 3rd place in any events, you’ve got to get some green.
I pointed out to my son how he’d been improving. He had quite a few green ribbons at home from prior meets. And then I told him that he had two choices. When things are not going your way you can either get angry and quit, or you can get angry and get better. You can let your anger shut you down, or you can use your anger as motivation to improve.
“It’s your choice son. I can’t choose this for you. Your friends can’t choose this for you. You’re the only one who can decide which way you’re going to go.”
And with that I excused myself to go watch one of my other kids swim. I let him sit alone and think about it.
I heard a very powerful sermon this Sunday at church. Pastor talked about how hard it is to live this life in a sinful, human body, and about how hard it is to change and become more Christlike. He was very personal and real. The praise team played “It Is Well With My Soul” at the end and I cried thinking about mistakes I’ve made in my past and how God has always seemed to pursue me.
Don’t we all want to hear God say those words to us?
“(Insert your name here), it is well with your soul…”
The main thing I took away from his message was the reminder that God changes us little by little. It’s like my son getting green ribbons as he slowly improves his swim times. God is working with me and helping me change slowly over time.
But I’ll be honest. It’s hard for me. Many days I think about my personal struggles and it feels like I’m losing ground. I feel so battered and bruised and on the verge of losing the will to keep fighting. But a good friend challenged me a few months ago to listen for the voice of God, and when I’m low, something will happen to help me lift my head. I’ll see someone I enjoy catching up with or read something encouraging or hear a song that helps remind me of a love that runs deep and rich in our lives. A love that warms us from the inside out and brings us low to the ground – not in defeat – but in real, honest, emotional worship.
And I’ll remember that the choice to fight is mine. I’ll find the courage and the strength to push myself up off the ground, to raise my eyes to the heavens, and to take another step. Like the many men that have gone before me, the ones traveling with me, and the many that will follow, I find the courage to fight another day.
I congratulated him for swimming strong, handed him his towel, and made sure I stayed sort of close to him. He’s like me in a lot of ways. He carries his emotions deep inside and I knew that I’d have to give him a little time and space before I could dig into what was wrong.
After a few minutes I asked him how he thought he had been doing in his races.
“Not good!” he said in an angry voice. “I never win. I’m not any good at swimming.” He turned his head away from me and sat there fuming.
Something you have to know about him. He’s got a toughness inside that many miss. He fought to stay alive at an early age and has kept that instinct as he’s gotten older. But at that moment I could tell he was having a bit of a pity party for himself.
I sat quietly for a few minutes and then slowly began to remind him of how hard he’d been practicing for the last few months. And also commented on some specific things he’d learned to do better. Then I asked him how many green ribbons he’d gotten over the past five meets.
You see, green ribbons are important.
After every swim meet, our team goes back to the clubhouse. The head coach announces the winner and passes out the 1st – 4th place ribbons. The last thing he does is pass out the “Best Time” green ribbons. Every time a swimmer breaks their personal best time in an event, they get a new green ribbon. The more green ribbons you’re getting, the faster you’re swimming. Chances are, before you get 1st, 2nd or 3rd place in any events, you’ve got to get some green.
I pointed out to my son how he’d been improving. He had quite a few green ribbons at home from prior meets. And then I told him that he had two choices. When things are not going your way you can either get angry and quit, or you can get angry and get better. You can let your anger shut you down, or you can use your anger as motivation to improve.
“It’s your choice son. I can’t choose this for you. Your friends can’t choose this for you. You’re the only one who can decide which way you’re going to go.”
And with that I excused myself to go watch one of my other kids swim. I let him sit alone and think about it.
*********************************************
I heard a very powerful sermon this Sunday at church. Pastor talked about how hard it is to live this life in a sinful, human body, and about how hard it is to change and become more Christlike. He was very personal and real. The praise team played “It Is Well With My Soul” at the end and I cried thinking about mistakes I’ve made in my past and how God has always seemed to pursue me.
Don’t we all want to hear God say those words to us?
“(Insert your name here)
The main thing I took away from his message was the reminder that God changes us little by little. It’s like my son getting green ribbons as he slowly improves his swim times. God is working with me and helping me change slowly over time.
But I’ll be honest. It’s hard for me. Many days I think about my personal struggles and it feels like I’m losing ground. I feel so battered and bruised and on the verge of losing the will to keep fighting. But a good friend challenged me a few months ago to listen for the voice of God, and when I’m low, something will happen to help me lift my head. I’ll see someone I enjoy catching up with or read something encouraging or hear a song that helps remind me of a love that runs deep and rich in our lives. A love that warms us from the inside out and brings us low to the ground – not in defeat – but in real, honest, emotional worship.
And I’ll remember that the choice to fight is mine. I’ll find the courage and the strength to push myself up off the ground, to raise my eyes to the heavens, and to take another step. Like the many men that have gone before me, the ones traveling with me, and the many that will follow, I find the courage to fight another day.
Monday, July 2, 2007
A Monday Update
Before I shut down for the day, I wanted to do something I normally don't do.
Go here to be humbled, challenged, and uplifted all at once. Humbled because I wonder if I have the kind of faith that you'll read about. Challenged because I wonder if I treat others with the kind of compassion that you'll read about. And uplifted because I'm reminded of how much God loves us.
Go here to be humbled, challenged, and uplifted all at once. Humbled because I wonder if I have the kind of faith that you'll read about. Challenged because I wonder if I treat others with the kind of compassion that you'll read about. And uplifted because I'm reminded of how much God loves us.
One of Those Days
Here's a little bit of honesty for ya. Today stinks.
I woke up late, had to rush to work, am staring at a stack of problems, and just got an ugly phone call from a customer who had a job go bad this weekend at a bank they have under contract. My department isn't at fault - I've not seen anything like this in my 15 years doing what I do - but he's looking for someone to blame instead of trying to work together to solve the problem.
I think Monday's are a consequence of the Fall.
Part of my problem is that I'm constantly dealing with the tension of being away from my kids. I miss them terribly - especially the younger ones who don't quite get why Dad has to go off all day. I recently tried to explain to my five year old that Dad has to go to work to get money to buy our food and clothes and to pay for our house and cars. The funny response I got was that if I needed money, I should just go to the bank like mommy does. Sigh....
Right now I can't seem to focus on the stack of papers on my desk. I can't stop thinking about what it will be like when I pull into my driveway tonight. My 22 month old will be standing at the door, clapping and smiling as big as the sun because she sees my car.
Right now, the pain of being separated from my kids is more then I can stand.
Right now, I just want to go home.
I woke up late, had to rush to work, am staring at a stack of problems, and just got an ugly phone call from a customer who had a job go bad this weekend at a bank they have under contract. My department isn't at fault - I've not seen anything like this in my 15 years doing what I do - but he's looking for someone to blame instead of trying to work together to solve the problem.
I think Monday's are a consequence of the Fall.
Part of my problem is that I'm constantly dealing with the tension of being away from my kids. I miss them terribly - especially the younger ones who don't quite get why Dad has to go off all day. I recently tried to explain to my five year old that Dad has to go to work to get money to buy our food and clothes and to pay for our house and cars. The funny response I got was that if I needed money, I should just go to the bank like mommy does. Sigh....
Right now I can't seem to focus on the stack of papers on my desk. I can't stop thinking about what it will be like when I pull into my driveway tonight. My 22 month old will be standing at the door, clapping and smiling as big as the sun because she sees my car.
Right now, the pain of being separated from my kids is more then I can stand.
Right now, I just want to go home.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
